My new favourite guard comment ever!

[meben15]

greatest guard moment ever: So I was walking into whiterun and I shot a horse in the face. When the guard arrested me I decided to go to jail and break out, just for fun. So I broke out easy, then I went back up to dragonsreach and proceded to parade around the place taking all the Jarls stuff. When one of the guards said 'wait, I know you' I was like 'yea I'm the guy you just arrested who is supposed to be in jail. I have broken out and now I am stripping dragonsreach of anything of value.' and he said 'alright then.'

that dude in the bannered mare is right. The security in whiterun is terrible.

 

[Kalin of High Rock]

"What is it? Dragons?!"

Yeah... Yeah, you've guessed it. It's dragons.

 

[Arthur Swift-Sword]

The security in whiterun is terrible.

"Shameful is what it is." -Sinmir, Bannered Mare, Whiterun

 

[Neveraine]

I find it funny because interestingly enough, whenever the guards are shooting at me, they shoot at my knees. I wonder if they are like zombies trying to infect you and turn you into a guard by taking out your knee.

 

[AS88]

"M'aiq was soul trapped once, it was not pleasant I can tell you, perhaps you should think about that"

 

[Gore gro-Gijakudob]

who still dies to guards? I just went through and killed everyone outside in whiterun with a dagger equipped. No shield or spells. I think I would have to try really hard for a guard to kill me. And I'm not min/maxed or very high level.

Beware, beware, the town guard born comes.

 

[AS88]

For wound has now passed, but scar still shows,
Beware, beware, the arrowed knee groans

 

[AS88]

"Shameful is what it is." -Sinmir, Bannered Mare, Whiterun

"the guards in this city are all lazy and undisciplined, things need to change"

 

[Gagarin]

I LOVE when they shout "Fall to me, dragon!"

 

[Torok]

"Lemme guess, someone stole your sweetroll."

My response to that: "If they did, they wouldn't live long enough to enjoy it..."

Also, I stole a guard's sweetroll once.

 

[Drewski]

My personal fav:-

"My cousin's out fighting dragons, and what do I get?"

To which I just have to start singing :

What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get


(Most may be too young to get this )

 

[Gowsh]

Gosh, I wish I remembered this one better.

Shortly after becoming the Listener. i got a something like the comment below:

Spoiler

We don;'t take to your kind here...um, no not exactly YOU...um, sir

If someone's got the right quote, feel free to reply.

 

[SilverSorcerer]

This is a very short post. I've played this game for hundreds of hours, using all sorts of playstyles, but just now I brushed past a guard who said to me;

"An Iron sword, eh? What're you killing, butterflies?"

Never in all this time have I heard this. But as it turns out, I then realised I've never actually carried an iron sword further than Riverwood!

I know it's just one line of dialogue, but it still amazes me how little things make me sit back and think, "wow, there's still a lot I've not experienced yet"

Wow, I've played Skyrim close to 1800 hours and never heard that.

I do like these two:

"Pigsticker like that's not going to get you far. Best visit the blacksmith."

"Ugh. That armor stinks of death. You been grave robbing?"

 

[Neveraine]

I hate it when guards are like "You don't look so well," so I always respond in my head, "Well you won't look too good soon because there's going to be an arrow in your knee and you will never know, who put it there."

 

[Mr1cammando]

Wow, I've played Skyrim close to 1800 hours and never heard that.

I do like these two:

"Pigsticker like that's not going to get you far. Best visit the blacksmith."

"Ugh. That armor stinks of death. You been grave robbing?"

What are the conditions for those qoutes?

 

[AS88]

I know the second one is wearing Ancient Nord Armour, don't know about the first though

 

[Mr1cammando]

I know the second one is wearing Ancient Nord Armour, don't know about the first though

It sounds like it would be for some kind of light, early level armor. I would guess Hide, Fur or Leather.

 

[Epic Keith]

After a guard kills a dragon he goes, "What is it, Dragon?"
"My cousin's out fighting dragons and what do I get?"
"Guard duty. Citizen"

 

[DovahCap]

My favorite is not one of their dialogue options, it's how when you rob anything in their city, they send hired thugs after you with contracts signed Whiterun Guard.

 

[SilverSorcerer]

What are the conditions for those qoutes?

pigsticker: equipped an iron sword

grave robbing: wearing ancient nord armor